When in doubt (or actually in a hole) stop digging

How often have you gone one step further down a path only to wish you had stopped earlier and checked what you were doing or where you were going? Not made that one additional cut that ruined the carving? Did not strike the additional hammer blow that revealed the impediment behind the drywall was a water pipe? Didn’t speak the one extra word or make the comment that turned a dispute into a full-blown argument?

Sometimes, our motivation to “just get things done” can cause us to make poor decisions. We overrule the voice in our heads that says, “Hold up a sec. Is this what we should be doing right now?” That voice is often the sound of our subconscious, which may have spotted warning signs that our conscious mind is either unaware of or has dismissed. We can save ourselves some unnecessary grief if we pause for a minute and ask – “Why am I feeling doubt about this?”

The ex-Navy Seal and now author and podcaster Jocko Willink provided an excellent example of a situation where stepping back and detaching allowed him to see a path to better outcomes. He was a newly minted Seal, training in Close Quarters Combat, working through an exercise with his squad. Instructors had created a situation where the only apparent way to progress through a house was down a narrow, bottlenecked corridor where the defenders had set up an ambush. Direct assault would result in mass casualties for the assaulting team. Instructors behind the squad yelled continuously, ordering them to proceed down the corridor to clear the house. An initial attack by the assault team resulted in (simulated) casualties. At this point, Jocko realised he could step out of line, raise his weapon into the port arms position and consider alternatives. The pressure being put on by instructors from behind and casualties in front was put to one side while he thought about other avenues of approach. By looking around, he discovered that there was an external staircase that could be used to circumvent the ambush and assault the position from the rear. Jocko used this lesson repeatedly throughout his military career and teaches it to leaders in all fields – an approach he describes as “detach and broaden your field of view”.

While this example seems heavily militarily oriented, it applies to everyday life. By pausing, stepping back, and assessing our goals in any situation, we can choose better paths than the one we’re currently on. Taking a pause allows us to broaden our actual and psychological field of view (which narrows when we’re under stress) and also ask questions. We can ask ourselves, “What do I need to achieve from this conversation?”; “What would this look like if it was easier?”; “Why do I believe this is the right route to get where I want to go?”. We can also ask others for their advice. We can take a minute (or an hour or a day) to seek out those who may have gone through similar challenges and get their input. This kind of pause is crucial in high-stress situations, whether that stress is externally or internally generated. Cortisol doesn’t always help us make good decisions – it reduces the world to fight or flight, when sometimes what we need to do is take a much more nuanced approach.

In the “get things done” organisations that many of us operate in today, it is often more important to stop and ask, “Is this necessary?” or “Is this the right thing to do now?” We are always trying to make progress without taking the time to consider whether we are progressing in the right way or even the right direction. To layer in another analogy, a senior executive who interviewed me for my current role put it like this – “in a warehouse full of barrels of fish, it’s important to know which barrel you should be fishing in”.

Listen to your gut. If in doubt, put down the shovel. Take a pause. Detach from the problem. Then, pick up your shovel again. By being more thoughtful and unafraid to pause, we will deliver better outcomes for ourselves and the people and companies we support.

Voiced by Amazon Polly

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